My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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