Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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