Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
