For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
