Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
