quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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