how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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