I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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