I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
