I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
