sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
