This is not my ceiling
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
i would one night stand the shit outta him
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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