I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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