week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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