So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
