If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Randomize
