She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
