So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I accidentally burped into my bong.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
