Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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