I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
