Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
