Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
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