Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
