don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
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Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
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Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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