At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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