i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Randomize
