if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
