Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
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