Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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