The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
