Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
