I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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