when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
