I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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