I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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