I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Randomize
