She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
