Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
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