She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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