does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
soo... how was my night?
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