ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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