But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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