NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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