I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
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