I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize