I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize