I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
