I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Boobs speak an international language.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize