If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
