My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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