I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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