we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize
