just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
