Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
me + whiskey = a bad person
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
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