Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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