Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
