She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
