either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
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new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
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