It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
