exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
You've changed since you got that strap on
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
