I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.