So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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