Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
My hand turned me down
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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