It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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