Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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