There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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